Final Discussion: Being Ace: An Anthology of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection
trying to show the world I still exist
Walking through gardens that I don't remember
I’m passing through hallways I don't understand
Haunting a house that I've lived in for ages
My thousand-yard stare going straight through my hands
Watch my limbs go clear
I’m becoming what I feared
Ghost Song, Ratwyfe
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Asexual Belonging: A Review and Poetry!
by Victoria Hernández
Being Ace: An Anthology of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection is a gorgeous celebration of Queerness! A spotlight on Asexual/Aromantic lives that shows the vast experiences that cover the A in LGBTQIA+. A love letter for all of those asexual/aromantic kids and teens who grew up knowing they were different. An anthology for this community that deals daily with all the awkward explanations, the unwanted experiences, the shame placed by society and the "Am I Ace?” Quizzes at 2:00 am.
The world desperately needed a book like this, one directed towards young adults and teens that focused on asexuals accepting themselves. Stories packed with strife, friendship, and found family that prove love and connection come in many ways.
In this anthology, you will find Science Fiction, contemporary, fantasy, spookiness, and a wonderful mix of these genres that will keep you excited for the next story. I was pleasantly surprised by the various cultures presented and the neurodivergent, and disability representation. From the Autism rep in “The Third Star” to the main character in “The Hazards of Pressing Play” using a wheelchair. Most stories also had trans representation especially in “Well-Suited” and “No Thing as Just” whose main characters and side characters were either non-binary or trans. This anthology is a breath of fresh air, that focuses on intersectionality within our lives and the LGBTQIA+ community.
Having Asexual characters be the protagonists in these various stories was a beautiful experience as an Asexual Demiromantic Lesbian myself. Especially seeing the characters be the heroes of their communities and of themselves. I could relate to their experiences, worries, and relationships with friends, family, and partners (if they had any). Asexuality in many stories is an issue for society or families. Sometimes being a central plot point but never an actual problem.
My favorite stories (in chronological order) were "Across the Stars" by Akemi Dawn Bowman, “Nylon Bed Socks” by the editor Madeline Dyer, “Sealights” by Emily Victoria, and my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE “Moonspirited” by Anju Imura.
“Across the Stars”
Bowman’s story was a wholesome SCI-FI tale of a Bi-Romantic Ace kid who must work alongside a friend they made in a customer service call to fix their robot. It was no surprise to me when I ended up loving this story as I am a huge fan of the author's previous work. The story was charming, perfectly science fiction, and presented asexuality/aromanticism wonderfully.
I adored this quote, the way the author writes Queer Kids is so healing! I felt a big connection to this quote as a Demiromantic.
"I’ve got nothing against falling in love—I’m just not sure my idea of love is the same as most of the people here. I’ve never looked at another person and felt some kind of magical, cosmic attraction. I’ve never looked at someone and thought, “I’d love to kiss them.” I look at people and think, “I’d like to be their friend.” Maybe love follows that, and maybe kissing follows the love, but for me, there’s an order. A science. That’s not cosmic. It’s just me."
-Across the Stars, by Akemi Dawn Bowman
“Nylong Bed Socks”
A powerful poem that describes the life of a young girl in a mental hospital healing from an ED. The girl is asexual, and the author connects the complications of the characters with their body and food with the struggles of being asexual. Through friendship, acceptance, and self-love the characters learn that being asexual is healthy and slowly finds themselves.
"I was just the Chubby girl,
And asexuality is just something people say,
When no one will have sex with them."
-Nylon Bed Socks by Madeline Dyer
Wow! Okay Dyer! Way to dig into my childhood! I loved this quote (and the whole poem) because it reminded me of little me, wondering why nothing ever happened with me like with other kids. Wondering why I was different, and wishing for a cure. But asexuality has no cure because it is not a bad thing. This poem is incredible but please read the trigger warnings as you will cry.
“Moonspirited”
A spectacular burst of culture, gods, and power. I loved the connections to Buddhism and the author's Japanese heritage. In my opinion, it was the BEST written story, with a wonderful flow of text and dialogue. This short story made me cry because it focused on a love I know well…the love between sisters. This unbreakable bond was beautifully written, especially since the main character is aromantic and asexual and has been made to feel broken by society. The story follows a hardworking older sister and their kid sibling Maiko who one day is taken by the Moon Empress. In search of her little sister, our main protagonist must face the gods. A gut-wrenching story of oppression, poverty, malice, the indifference of gods, and sisterhood. I need to read more by this author, I’m hooked!
If you love video games like God of War and books like Iron Widow you will love this!
“All those times I've spent resenting in pain, wondering why I couldn't have the happiness of others-happiness I felt I was supposed to have? -the happiness gods so easily display. All of it coalesces into a singular, surging wave."
-Moonspirited by Anju Imura
“Sealights”
A charming fantasy of a young girl who after her father's death must protect and maintain the family lighthouse. Passed down through generations, the sudden lack of sea magic means Annelise is at risk of losing the lighthouse to the city where they will try to use land magic on it to continue its function. Afraid of losing her family's legacy and the consequences of using land magic instead of sea magic on the lighthouse, Annelise alongside her quirky friend Meera must find a solution quickly. A story of friendship, bravery, loss, and acceptance. A whimsical story of fighting for what you believe in and finding comfort in yourself.
“I was trained by my father since I was young, but sea magic isn’t like land magic. There aren’t set rules. You can't just study a guidebook. So much of it is about feel, about knowing the movement and the rhythm of the ocean”.
-“Sealights” by Emily Victoria
Ace Space Travel
by Victoria Hernandez
An ode to the galaxies!
I step through to the balcony,
As night welcomes me.
I don't need a telescope,
to find the constellations.
I am a flow of light,
that transcends the measuring tape.
Not to be understood from a simple glance.
I am beautiful.
I am eternal.
As the ocean rises by glimmering moons.
I am a depth-unknown by those,
whose trips reside on the surface.
I am connected to everything at once.
Not fragments of myself.
I am not a piece of a much larger puzzle.
I am completely aware,
Of my completeness.
My asexuality does not imply
An absence of self.
I am without needing to be.
You point judgement
Or worse, pity.
In this room of mirrors,
You see broken pieces,
But I am intact.
Unbroken.
I am not the damaged girl,
I was led to believe,
By sex scenes,
Teenage magazines
And obnoxious tias.
Youth is not a single road!
I do not place myself over a podium,
But I will not accept your diagnosis.
Your expectations do not command me
As I am eternal.
A well of ancestry full to the brim,
Leaning over the ripples,
my eyes the color of the earth,
Watch over myself.
I fall through the reflection,
And find a universe of endless.
Being Ace is a state of constant magic.
I am,
we are,
stellar.
After reading all of these wonderful stories I felt inspired to write a poem! This poem represents what feels like centuries of growth for me. I was not always this proud of myself. Not this kind and accepting (and sometimes it is still hard). As an asexual demiromantic lesbian Puerto Rican, so many parts of me felt wrong growing up. Not because I got to that conclusion by myself, but because I was constantly reminded of my differences. No representation of Queer people around me, only hushed rumors and outbursts of homophobic aunts and uncles. Therefore, it was in my adult life through books and friends that I allowed myself to begin this journey. Of destroying the walls placed around me by others and myself. To love myself. Love me for all I am. Not just for what's attractive or acceptable to others.
That is one of the many reasons that books such as Being Ace: An Anthology of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection are important. For young Queer kids to see themselves, to see the ugly, the beautiful, the dangerous, and the real. And for other members of the community and allies to learn of others' experiences and gain respect and understanding.
💜
Victoria Hernández (she/her) is an anxious Ace Lesbian from the mountains of Puerto Rico. A grad student at the University of Puerto Rico studying Caribbean literature. A lover of writing, poetry, fantasy/sci-fi, tostones, and cats. They have a bookstagram called @cuir_bookseeker where they share Carribean, Latine and LGBTQIA+ book recs and a blog where they write in depth reviews. And a monthly book club named @silentbookclubprmetro in Puerto Rico!
Want more songs? Here is an asexual playlist for when ur feeling asexual. Lots of good stuff in here. There are multiple public ace playlists on Spotify but Todd Chavez’s eyes drew me in with their asexual power. Happy listening!
Final Thoughts
Overall, how strong was the anthology for you?
Now that you’re done reading, how did the book make you feel?
What was your favorite story or poem? What about it made it your favorite?
Were there any that resonated with you on a deep emotional level, or that challenged your preconceptions of aro/ace folks?
How did the anthology explore the theme of love and connection within the context of asexuality?
Were there any common themes or motifs that you noticed across the different stories?
Did reading the anthology change your perspective on asexuality or any other marginalized identities represented in the stories? If so, how?
In what ways do you feel the anthology celebrate the diversity and resilience of the asexual community?
Share your thoughts in the comments or reply to this email. I’ll see you in the next one! ♥
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